Last day in Bangkok

As today marks my last day in Bangkok (for now), as well as the last day before my silent retreat (!), I thought I would write a little blog about my experiences so far.

The past few days have been pretty amazing. I must say that I did not expect to like Bangkok but I unexpectedly fell in love with the city. The reason why I thought it would not be my cup of tea, is because I expected it to be like Khao San Road everywhere. For reference: Khao San Road is (I think) the busiest road in Bangkok, well known for its infamous party scene. As it turns out, only Khao San road is actually like Khao San Road. The rest of Bangkok (or at least from what I have seen) is actually quite nice! I really feel very safe and very happy here and I am so glad that I went here, despite my prejudices.

The past few days I had my food tour, saw the Grand Palace and Wat Pho, and took a tour of the floating market and the railway market near Bangkok. I also had a massage and spent a lot of time walking around, eating and relaxing. I really liked everything I have seen and done. I meant to see Ayutthaya but unfortunately I did not manage to do that for now. I will return to Bangkok for my flight back, so perhaps I will add on an extra day to do just that. If not, I will have a reason to come back to Bangkok. I have plenty of reasons to come back to Thailand in general as right now it is not looking like I will see any of the islands or even Chiang Mai. In any case, Bangkok stole my heart.

I have found it incredibly easy to find my way around here, which also contributed to my feeling safe. Most people are very kind and helpful and things just kind of... Get done. I don't know how but everything works and is easy to find. I cannot help but compare Thailand to other countries I have been to like China, Sri Lanka or even Morocco but I feel particularly good here. I think it mostly has to do with the fact that there are so many tourists here, which there are not really as many of in (say) Rabat or Negombo. The food is incredibly cheap and delicious, so I am a happy camper.

As I wrote, tomorrow I will start my 10-day silent retreat. I honestly have no idea what to expect and the nerves have been getting worse and worse. Out of all the things, I expect the not-talking part to be the easiest. I am an introvert at heart so I think that will be okay. I am however very scared of getting homesick. I am also very scared of the physical pain of sitting for over 10 hours a day (most people describe awful back-, -neck and head pains). I am also scared of the 6 hours of sleep every morning, lack of food (dinner consists of fruit...) and feeling panicky. To add on to that, this morning I woke up with a pretty bad cold (coughing, stuffed nose, throat ache) and a bunch of mosquito bites. These things are not so bad when you can get a Strepsil, nose spray or anti-itch cream whenever you want, but the point of the retreat is that I won't be able to in between meditation. This means that, should I get a stuffed nose during one of the meditation sessions, I will have to sit with it for 4 hours at a time, which will probably not make me feel a lot better.

The question then is, of course: "is it worth it?". I honestly have no idea. However, I still really want to do this for the sole reason that I perceive it as a detox for my mind. The past years have been incredibly busy for me (haven't they been for us all?) and I really could use 10 days with just myself and my own thoughts. I could use not feeling stressed from seeing I got 10 e-mails in the past hour, or stressing out about deadlines. Still, as we all know, detoxing is never easy.

In any case, I will not write a blog until I am done with my retreat which will end the 20th of January. The day after, I am going to Siem Reap (Cambodia) for a couple of days, so that I can admire Angkor Wat!

Lots of love,

Demi.